Oh me oh my...

From the Barista window at MG Road, Pune. I know it's not the best photo, but there's something about its imperfection I like.

I so wanted to write one last post for 2010, but I was blissfully busy with a buzz only December can bring (and I don't mean the alcoholic kind). It was mostly spending time with everyone I love and bumming at Sernabatim and Benaulim and relaxing at home.

And look - it's already almost the end of Jan...where did it disappear, I ask you? The answer pleases and perplexes me all at the same time. German class has begun again, probably the last of the courses. I'm writing to German universities, reading course descriptions, looking for internships and freelance work all at the same time - I mean, it's not the most ambitious of schedules, but believe me, it will get there. I don't have a new year's resolution as such, but I do see myself working hard this year and I think it will be a relatively fruitful one. It better.

Nice things about the year so far:

• The cool weather (which, for a brief period of two weeks, was so cold that I actually got to wear my H & M Jacket that I bought in Berlin!). It has started getting warmer though, and absolutely torturous visions of a relentless summer swim before my eyes - for instance, last year, my sister and I tried littering the floor with ice cubes in a vain attempt to make the room cooler. *shudders* (though not because of the cold. Heh).
• Mom staying here for a few days.
• Chino, the cat, who prances around the place I stay and lets you pick him up and is nice and well fed.

Not so nice things:

• Acne, with its supernatural ability to rise above all medical treatment, stays stubbornly anchored to my face. I tell myself my time will come, when I can look in the mirror and not flinch. But when, dammit, when?
• Punctures in the back tyre of my bike and something about ball bearings in rear tyre, which is going to cost me a little more than I'd like. Remember when the ballcock was broken? Strange coincidence, no?
• Missing gym because of clashing timings with my class. Must work this out.

Oh, and I've missed blogging so very much.

Bis später, you guys. Mmmuah!

The Cyniqueen

Most embarrassing moment yet (tried to express in the most dignified way possible)

The time - September 2010

The place - Hanover, Germany

 (from the movie Chicago)

"Look, honey,
you want some advice?
Here it is.
Direct from me to you ."

• Do not mix drinks. Ever.  
• Note : Things like wine, 'peppermint liqueur' shots and Sekt (German sparkling white wine which tastes very mmm...like the Italian Prosecco ) - though they sound harmless, aren't. They will inebriate you. Oh, and just because it's fancily called 'liqueur' does not mean that it still isn't 'liquor'.

Bad picture, but this is the brand of Sekt I had in Germany. It means Red Riding Hood :)

• Do not run on a drunk stomach (even at 3:30 in the morning, even if it means missing the last train to your guest's home. Just don't).
• Do not think you can 'close your mouth shut tight and hold it in till you find a loo' if you have to upchuck.
• After you've learnt your lesson, do run to the dry cleaner's as quickly as you can.
• Don't think about it every night for the next 3 months and feel very very horrified, because as desperately as you want to, you cannot take it back. You must stew in the mortification of it for as long as you live. Or until you do something even more embarrassing (of which, unfortunately, the chances seem high) - either way, it will be one of the images that will flash before your embarrassed eyes in those dying moments. 

Needless to say, I am going to be neurotically cautious the next time there is a bottle of peppermint liqueur anywhere near me. Oh, the shame.

***

And since misery loves company

Why don't you accompany

The Cyniqueen in her quest

to find the very best

embarrassing moment of all?

Do you have the gall

to put fingers to keyboard?

Let it act like a sword

Slay the cringe-inducing memory away

Write a post on the same theme, I say.

Would you?

The Cyniqueen

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Just some randomness

At a supermarket in Rotterdam. Look at the colours :)

Things I bought today:

• One birthday card (not for myself because the birthday is over. And because I'm not that person. Yet).
• One coconut
• Cosmopolitan and Better Photography (still don't have that DSLR, in case you're wondering. When I have one, believe me, you'll know. Mars and Pluto and Jupiter will know too).
• A flower garland

Things I heard:

• Very boring 90's hindi music (the absolutely unheard of kind that plays in buses on long journeys).
• Horse hooves - rhythmic, pure, trotting, clipped  (through the window of my living room. Love that sound. Such sensory delight).
• A drunk singing loudly passing by the house (also heard through the window of my living room. I do need to start looking for a new place).

Today wasn't special. Nothing fluttered (least of all hope), nothing changed. 

I should be getting ready for bed right now. I should be worrying about universities right now. I should be rejoicing that internet's back after a day. Oh, and I should be clearing up the table.

But I want to be in bed with a book. I want to be in Berlin, with the cold, and the snow and I want to miss Goa from there. I want a magic wand to clean up my life. I want that magic wand to be ME.

How's that for vague?

Goodnight folks

The Cyniqueen

Birthdays and awesomeness

Hi and Hallöchen!

Ist er nicht unglaublich süß? / Is he not unbelievably cute?

This, my lovelies, is what my friend Kivi gifted me on my birthday. I want to hug him all the time. Now I'm not really the stuffed-toy kind of girl, but look how cute! I've never owned such a big one. Oh wait, how rude of me. Readers, this is Clouseau. You see, I thought his name should end with an /əʊ/ (or 'oh') sound, and my friend suggested Clouseau, which is a mouthful, but I think it should stay. And may be another nickname for when I'm feeling especially affectionate.

And those of you who spotted that bottle of perfume in his lap - that is Hugo XX - and it makes me want to lie in a meadow with flower petals falling on me and dappled sunlight all around. It was a gift from my lovely sister.

And because I am the mother of telling things in a nutshell (Heh, quite the contrary actually, but anyway) here is what I did on my birthday. And also because I am the mother hen of all things listed, here it is in bullet form:

• Biryani at Blue Nile with my sister and Kivi. Which was so deliciously yum. And this Ice vanilla shake thing. Which I never have for fear of how dazzlingly indulgent it looks. And it was. Mmmm.
• A very soothing nap at my grandmother's house. Which some people might think was a waste of time, but there's something about sleeping in that house which makes you feel all refreshed and happy.
• Sabudana vada, which no one can make better than my grandmother. And no, I cannot possibly explain to you what that is, but may be this recipe can and this picture.
• Oh, I forgot to say - lots of shopping at Fabindia - I love my new Kurtas and Kurtis. 
• Dinner at home with Unmesh and Anand and my sister, playing Taboo and talking. Unmesh had to leave early (Grrr) but we had fun anyway. And oh, he totally missed dessert, which by the way, Unmesh? Was awesome.

All in all, I had expected nothing and so everything nice was a bonus in itself. If you dread birthdays like I do, believe me, this is the way to go.

And if you were having a bad day, this will cheer you up. So the landlord's thirty-something son calls out to me and says, "Hey, the ballcock is broken, the ballcock is broken."

*moment of respectful silence for me because I didn't burst out laughing in his face like an effing Hyena*

I go like "Umm........*trying hard to block a million eye-blazing visions away*...what?"
 
Him: Yeah, so the ballcock? Doesn't work...blahblahblah

So a ballcock, which looks something like this *moment of raucous, shameless, indulgent laughter*, has something to do with water tanks. But that's not important part, is it? No, it is not. I'm still giggling a little.

Cause of extreme happiness and a lot of smiling when I switch on the laptop every morning - more blogging activity. Thanks to Kim K, a whole new world of (German) blogging has opened itself up to me.

I have to get going now. But I heart you all very much :)

The Cyniqueen

Wouldn't it be Loverly?

Inspired from Kanika's lovely blog, from this post right here, I'm formulating an 'I Want' list too. (Partly also because I'm convalescing from a two day illness and feel the need to contribute to the world. You know, creatively).

1. I want the locality I live in (in Pune) to be a little less noisy. No, a LOT less noisy.
2. I want to be in Germany. Despite the biting cold, because I looooove (Germany, not the cold).
3. I want to be fitter. Okay, leaner. Umm...healthy. Oh f*&^ it. I want to be toned and  thin (the right kind. You know what I mean) and flexible like Samara Currimbhoy from NDTV Good Times. Have you seen the woman stretch?
4. I want to understand a little sliver of fashion (trying to be realistic here).
5. Before I live anywhere out of India I want to be able to (a)Pleat a sari (b)make a 'typical' Indian meal (c)do some yoga
6.  I want Goa. Forever. Almost.
7. I want a faster internet connection
8. I want an ektara.
9. I want to speak perfect German. And eventually learn Portuguese, French, Dutch, Italian, Bengali, Gujarati (Hmm...not being realistic at all but while I'm making the world listen to me, I might as well, eh?)
10.  I want a clear face. Pretty please.
11. DSLR. DSLRDSLRDSLRDSLRDSLRDSLRDSLRDSLR. World, I cannot emphasize this enough. And just in case you forgot, DSLR. Okay?

Oh, and you must see this (from 00:50 if you want to jump right to the main bit. But you shouldn't). I abso-bloomin'-lutely adore the way it's sung:

 

It's rather dull in town, I think I'll take me to Paree.
Mmmmmm.
The mistress wants to open up
The castle in Capri.
Me doctor recommends a quiet summer by the sea!
Mmmm, Mmmm, wouldn't it be loverly?
  

All I want is a room somewhere,
Far away from the cold night air.
With one enormous chair,
Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?
 

Lots of choc'lates for me to eat,
Lots of coal makin' lots of 'eat.
Warm face, warm 'ands, warm feet,
Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?
 

Aow, so loverly sittin' abso-bloomin'-lutely still.
I would never budge 'till spring
Crept over me windowsill.
 

Someone's 'ead restin' on my knee,
Warm an' tender as 'e can be. 'ho takes good care of me,
Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?
Loverly, loverly, loverly, loverly 

 (more about the song)

Yours yearningly,

The  Cyniqueen

What a feeling

1. Having the flu - feeling the strength slink slowly out of you.
2. Getting that thick, coagulated bit of cream in your mouth at the end of a hot cup of milk with haldi  (to get better faster).
3. Catastrophic soreness and dryness in your throat, which makes you feel like a gazillion horses (high on dope) tap danced on it. And then the beach tipped all its gravelly sand down it.
4. Brilliantly elegant sounds of "hack-hack-haaaaaack-sputter-groan-hackhhhhh' issuing forth from said dry throat when it doesn't let you sleep at night.
5. Having nothing to do and using that nothingness to sleep through some of the illness yesterday. What bliss. :D
6. When the sun comes out at the end of a cloudy day.
7. Smell of really old books. And new glossy magazines. And textbooks.
8. My star-shaped pillow, which I hug in my sleep.
9. Craving fish. Like craaaaaaving (I know that isn't the most creative way to express just how much I'm dying to eat some nice fresh fish. But that's actually just how much I want it. I waaaaaaaaaaant, y'know what I mean?)
10. Chewing ice cubes.
11. Underestimating the squelchiness of a jogging track after last night's heavy downpour. Trying to run. Giving up. Walking briskly instead.
12. Saying the word 'Squelch' out loud and loving the onomatopoeic element (Go on. Say it. You know you want to). Squelch is one of those words that can have no other meaning than the one it already does. I always imagine gumboots and soil thick and slushy with water and the shoe-prints left behind. And that sound. Never disappoints. Yes. Sensory pleasure.
13. Food getting spoilt and having to throw it away :(
14. Images of Berlin slapping you in the face from nowhere. Missing Hackescher Markt (remember? about which I told you that one time?).
15. Googling very silly things. And people in your life.
16. Remembering old video/PC games like Wolf and Sonic the Hedgehog and Prince of Persia. I loved this game called Jazz Jackrabbit, which was so funny and brilliant, with the most entertaining cheat codes I have ever come across. I miss Jazz.
17. Considering peeling your face-skin off to see whether it would look worse than having a new crop of acne. A week before your birthday.
18. Waking up very late. 
19. Waking up very early.
20. Stopping writing this post because you remember something about not watching too much TV/ staring at the computer screen when you have a fever.

Love,

The Cyniqueen

Ruminating...

I hate being all sombre and morose and vague in this blog, I do. But every day I just keep realizing that there are people in the world doing so much more, and tapping into whatever potential they have. Like him and her and her and Brad (who prefers to be called Adam, apparently, so that's what I shall call him henceforth) and CC, with his Love Sex Dance Magazine, (an online fashion magazine which you really should check out, especially the current issue)...I realize I spoke about people who are not in India, which is just a coincidence. The point is (as I see it), either they're doing what they love or working towards it; and logically speaking, that's how it should be for all of us. It shouldn't have to be an extraordinary thing, but it is. I admire people like this so much. And the weird thing is - nothing's stopping me but the shadows of my own mind.

I am happy for some things in my life though. Like for instance I took the more sensible (and harder) decision of staying on in Pune (instead of Goa, which hello, is fabulous) whether I get through the German course for this session or not. I'm happy that I'm doing something more to stay healthy. And today, I joined Guitar class, which I have wanted to do for so very long. You see, technically I've been playing the guitar since late 2006. But I mostly learned it on my own, off the internet and with very little personal help. So while I can play some things, there's so much more that I need to learn and (eeep!) lots and lots of wrong playing techniques I need to change. I hope this goes excellently. This still counts for something as far as the whole tapping your potential thing goes, does it not? I hope so.

I have a total love-hate relationship with my birthday, which approaches swiftly. In my mind, it waits there ahead of me (now at a distance where I can see it) and rubs its hands together slyly, not divulging what it has in store for me. Birthdays are frigging unpredictable, am I right? Even if I remain occupied the whole day, there's always this little voice in my head that whispers alluringly, sinfully - it's your birthday, you're supposed to be having a superamazingcrazilyexcitinglymindblowinglyecstatic day. And even though until then I've been pleased with the day, it suddenly begins to seem not-good-enough. And yay! becomes eh. Also, having a normal, routine day on your birthday is somehow anticlimactic and depressing. 

I think it has everything to do with the fact that most birthdays when you were a kid actually did seem  superamazingcrazilyexcitinglymindblowinglyecstatic because of the presents and the attention. Sigh. I wish stuff meant just as much now. Although I must admit, if I could have bought a DSLR on my birthday, I would have been disturbingly elated. So anyway, I was talking to G about it who says it wouldn't bother him at all if his birthday were like any other day or even if he were alone. It's going to be hard, but this year I'm going to try not putting any pressure on the day and let it take its own course. 

And now, an attempt to brighten up and sweeten this post:

This was a sprite flavoured cake (baked using sprite instead of egg. How cool is that?) I baked during my CMYK (photography) course for the whole class and Saloni clicked this picture. The gems (which got displaced on the way from Margao to Mapusa) are supposed to spell click! and there's a smile there in the middle which drowned in the icing. But look - colour can spruce up anything :)

What do you do on your birthday?

The Cyniqueen.