Sunday, April 10, 2011

I am completely calm and controlled....(not)

On Tuesday - The mother of all German exams.

Surreally sensitive to the heat (evidently) - my skin

Overcast - Pune at the moment

I am not going to freak out, I am not going to freak out, I am not going to freak out. The exam is in Delhi, where I must go. Which is what makes everything...grander. And puts more pressure on me. Oooh, though. May be will get to do some shopping. Not that I particularly love to shop, but still. It's Delhi.

I have to go describe graphs in German now. Any luck or prayers you send my way will be most humbly accepted and most greedily ingested (by mind, naturally, not body). 

Yours nervously,

The Cyniqueen.

Friday, April 8, 2011

It never stops

You Learn  
(by Alanis Morissette)

I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room
Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)
It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)
Wait until the dust settles

You live you learn

You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

I recommend biting off more then you can chew to anyone

I certainly do
I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at any time
Feel free
Throw it down (the caution blocks you from the wind)
Hold it up (to the rays)
You wait and see when the smoke clears

You live you learn

You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

Wear it out (the way a three-year-old would do)

Melt it down (you're gonna have to eventually anyway)
The fire trucks are coming up around the bend

You live you learn

You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

You grieve you learn

You choke you learn
You laugh you learn
You choose you learn
You pray you learn
You ask you learn
You live you learn 

[Photo via Google Image Search]

...and I'm ready to take on the world again! Thank you wise musicians of the 90s who know exactly what to say and when to say it :)

The Cyniqueen

P.S - You can hear (and watch) the song here.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Here without you

Symbolic representation of my mind. [via Google Image Search]

Dear Blogger, 
I miss you.

Dear fellow bloggers whose blogs I read and love and comment on,
I miss you too (but guilty pleasures have a way of getting fulfilled).

Dear TestDaF exam which takes place on 12th April,
I want to crack you, but you're somewhat intimidating. You are the reason for my rear being stuck to this chair for hours on the end. You are the last German-related hurdle and you, my last exam (Hopefully in the first attempt).

Dear aimless internet-surfing,
You are the only thing that makes me feel entertained and useless at the same time(after 2 hours of mindless surfing and Wiki reading). But I miss you. The Massive Surfing of  31.03.2011 (as it shall be known from now on) about World war II after watching bits of Der Untergang (again) shall be our little secret.

Dear link-hopping on German university websites which I need to do till I finish my applications,
I haven't taken warmly to you (since you made me stop my much loved mindless surfing) and it is quite unlikely that I will ever miss you. Quite.
Note: These University websites have me caught in a web of links so tight and intricate, I can't breathe. Did you know you could get lost on the internet and roam in circles and get very scared you'll never be able to find your way back to your homepage again? I feel like that when I go through these links. So to reiterate, I will not be missing this particular activity.

Dear afternoon naps,
No, you aren't good for me, but we both know how much you mean to me. And now that I must study every chance I get (as relaxing as that is), I have to let you go. For a while, anyway. But we shall meet again, okay? Soon.

Dear Goan-raw-mango-concoction-which-we-made-in-pune-which-sits-on-the-dining-table-as-we-speak-and-which-makes-me-drool-just-thinking-about-it,

Dear social life,
I mourn your death every moment of everyday. I will meet you in your new, reincarnated life in Germany, I will.

Dear English books, Vogue and Cosmo,
Hang in there. I'm getting to you very soon. Also, I miss you.

Dear Goa, dear home, dear air conditioner, dear fish, dear Tata Sky, dear backyard, dear peace,
Simply put, take me in your arms and let me live with you forever*.
*Conditions Apply

Dear Juno, my lovely guitar,
You are my weak-spot, but I haven't played you all year. All year! I'm so sorry, my precious, and I miss you.

Dear empty-wall-in-my-study-room,
It's weird not having you around. Instead, the wall is now a disorderly wall-of-post-its bearing Redemittel, Synonyme and other study stuff in general.

Dear Solitaire on my laptop, my sole sweet source of pleasure,
Don't ever leave me okay? You're all I have. You and my colourful stationary. And the new Rubik's cube, which is more fun to scramble expertly than try to solve uselessly .

Dear feeling of Nothing-On-My-Mind, 
I barely remember you. Your brethren Falling-Asleep-Quickly-And-Thoughtlessly and Mr.Switch-Off (as in switch off all your worries and be carefree, also called my Goan state of mind) have become vague memories too. Come back soon, won't you? Missing doesn't begin to cover what I feel for you.

Dear Germany, dear Berlin, dear people who made Germany magical for me,
Guess who I miss most?

Yours sincerely,

The Cyniqueen.