Thursday, March 3, 2011

It's autumn again (but not outside)...

Autumn rustles, crumples and creates. (Photo via Google Image search)

There are times I wish life were a pool of mediocrity - of small minds and smaller dreams. Simpler desires. Lesser pressure. Stress of a different kind, and in smaller measures.

Sometimes I wish pain would go sting someone else.
Sometimes I feel tremendous wonder that one mind can house a million thousand gazillion thoughts within the span of a micro-second. And yet all those stray thoughts - those feelings of loveinsecuritylonelinesslongingirritationexcitementtension, howlingshrillyblindingsingingcomplainingcooingmourningshouting at me, how I can feel all this in one single, lonely moment?

And yet life goes on.
And yet it stays the same.

And I hope and I despair. And I simply long, despite myself, for a NOTHING. Just for a second. To be cocooned in a floating, unthinking, unaware, (but not unloving) state.

Too bad life can't wait. And so I trudge along, somewhat sadly, somewhat elatedly and very very madly.

Thank you for reading. Was it mediocre? Yes?  May be I'm getting somewhere.

The Cyniqueen

3 comments:

The Bohemian Teacher said...

Wow! This is one of the most amazing posts I have read in a while. All those confused feelings made sense in the end. I see parts of myself in these words. And no!! It was NOT mediocre, it was exceptional!
x
C

amruta said...

Dear Cyniqueen,

I can see a mirror of spirituality shinning at a distance and its reflection falling on your eyes momentarily blinding your view of the mediocre world around.........don't ignore it... and make sure to grab that mirror once you reach it!

happy journey :)

Cyniqueen said...

@Caro - Thank you thank you thank you! That means a lot to me. x

@Amruta - Wow, I love how you wrote that! And thank you so much :) You've given me food for thought.
And I'm waiting to hear about your new blog ;) Soon, yes?