"Just like that", she said randomly. And went on smoking her Cuban cigar.

Things on my mind:

1. You never really know for sure. About anything/anyone.
2. What will I do when I can't talk to my mom everyday over the phone when I'm far, far away? :-/
3. The Catcher in The Rye, as of page 50, is superb. Not at all the kind of stuffy narrative I thought it might be.
4. I am spatially challenged (as far as making space for things in my room is concerned).
5. I miss having room-mates (who stick by you no matter what and comfort you on sad days and willingly provide comic relief during exams).
6. Country music awakens something in me that no other music does (Hmm...except Jazz, perhaps).
7. I don't fit into about a thousand of my old college clothes. That, and a combination of Van Gogh, Rubens and Trinny and Susannah prompted a quirky poem about women's body image (at least I think it's quirky). May be I'll post it later. May. Be.
8. I really really really really miss having a pet, especially since our last cat, the alien-looking Baldy died last year. 
9. I love playing the C, G, D, A minor notes on my guitar in succession. They're like best friends who never fight.
10. I'm sort of kind of little bit may be starting to get closer to kids. No I'm not. Yes I am. No. Yes. May be. May. Be.

 Ever-ly faithful, never-ly flaky (almost),

The Cyniqueen.

P.S - Don't ask me about the title. It was the first thing that popped into my head.

Dum dee dum

Because sometimes, only Van Gogh can capture how you're feeling.

Some of the things I will do when I send out my last university application:

1. A happy, crazed, I-never-want-to-look-at-another-university-website-in-official-German dance
2. SLEEP
3. Wake up every morning and remind myself that the ordeal of sifting through the 181 universities list is over forever and I don't have to do application work today.
4. Revive social life some what.
5. Read Bridget Jones' Diary again and laugh and ruminate.
6. Not think about anything document related, official language related, list-related at least for a day (because unfortunately, moving to a foreign country entails non application-related paperwork too).
7. Go to the Salon. Get a haircut. Get a hair spa thing.

The Cyniqueen

P.S- Pictures via Google Image Search

Someday, baby

Happiness is a state of mind. Cliché? Yes. Untrue? No.

I'm so happy right now. Even though my room is a mess of clothes roughly classified into 'Clothes that fit' and 'Clothes that will fit again soon'. Listening to Jack Johnson, thinking about the beginning of the end of acne (according to my doc), thinking about a similar, more panicked scene 10 months 1 day ago; and a similar scene which will come to pass in a couple of months from now. 
Packing. Clothes everywhere, strewn plastic wrappers of knick knacks freshly packed in a suitcase bigger than me, worrying about being on time, about good weather when I land, about nothing breaking inside, about perishable food not getting spoilt. 
Looking forward to Brötchen on the plane (about which I blogged that one time), looking forward to Germany. To all that being there means to me.

A difficult goodbye, a familiar buzz, lots of green tea over 2 flights and then, the landing. And then? A new life.

Scary? Of course.

Exciting? Hell, yeah.

The Cyniqueen

Who's to say

Glittering evening sunshine

 Fading friendships

When it's raining and the sun comes out

 Making a book of recipes

Listening to Gloomy Sunday and not feeling gloomy at all

Feeling strong enough not to need someone  

Tender, teeming green after the first week of rain 

Missing your grandparents 

The taste of home food 

Wanting to read 5 books all at once

 Resisting chocolate

Laughing hard at 3 in the morning 

Watching once-hazy plans slowly take shape

Feeling happy for no reason

  Berlin on the horizon, here in Goa

Dusty fingerprints on forgotten memories

  Cynicism providing the cushion to the (big and small) blows of life

 Re-reading your favourite books

Missing having a cat

Reviving love

Stubby fingers

Old, soft, worn clothes, which, when you wear them, is like sleeping in a hug

Sleep tight y'all.

 
The Cyniqueen

Of this and that

A representation of me scaling new heights (with an ever so slightly more...um...voluptuous body. And not Caucasian).

News: I cleared the TestDaF exam (remember that dreaded German exam I went to Delhi for? Which prompted this slightly hysterical post?)...with a full score! It was a moment of such pure bliss (and also some jumping all over my room).

Also, I'm done with my internship, which I will miss.

And, here's the cherry on the cake (ish) - concrete Germany plans are happening again! I can't tell you much at this point (because I don't know myself), but I will soon. Know and tell.

What else? Goan rains, driving the car, German, documents, acne (again), a new book called Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain, a lot of mangoes (not so much since the monsoons started, but before that, two a day. Hey, calories schmalories, okay? I figure I'm going to be missing a lot of Indian Summers from now on).

And now, I must go.

Love and health and happiness and luck,

The Cyniqueen

P.S - Image via Google Image Search
P.P.S. - Here's one of my favourite songs, for which you can find the lyrics here. Enjoy :)